The Movies Of 2011 Part 3: Anachronistic Robots Vs. Men Of Magic. Taking All Bets

(Please note: the following blog was originally posted on my old blog Why Yes I Am Quite Random, Why Do You Ask?, a blog I can no longer access for some unknown reason. This is being put at the start of each blog I'm uploading, in case anyone comes across the blog and accuses me of plagiarism. This is explained further in my introduction blog.

The following was originally posted on Friday, December 23rd, 2011 at 8:13 pm)

And now, for the final post of the movies I've seen for 2011. Here, I present the bottom five and the top five.

For the bottom five, I've decided to reverse the order, to save the worst for last (until we get to the best, no way am I ending this blog on a sour note). I should also point out that while nothing was rated lower than a 2, that could change if I decide to give them another chance. Possibly sometime in the near future, I intend to look at the films I have that I gave 2 or 2.5 stars, to determine whether or not I want to keep them or toss them. Think of it as a make-up exam.

46. The Dilemma (Ron Howard)

Or, One Episode Of A Subpar Sitcom Extended To Feature Length. Seriously, if Vince Vaughn's character stopped to think about what he's trying to say and approach it more rationally, this movie would have been over in 30 minutes. And this is one of the rare times where he's not playing some smarmy slacker, which might be why he's one of the only good aspects of this film (the other being Winona Ryder doing the best with what little she's given, despite being the closest thing this movie has to a villain). Not all that funny and not all that memorable. Just kind of sad. 2.5/5

47. No Strings Attached (Ivan Reitman)

You know, this has something in common with the above entry: both have directors that should be above the material provided. And of course, this shares a similar concept to Friends With Benefits. Except whereas Friends With Benefits remembers to have fun before reaching the obvious conclusion, No Strings Attached just groans and says “Just wake me when you're finished”. Natalie Portman really looks like she doesn't want to be there and Ashton Kutcher gets on your nerves after a while. They fare better than the supporting cast though, as they all SUCK. Unhelpful asshats who I wanted to see get punched in the back of the head. Every last one of them (and when you make me dislike Cary Elwes, you really screwed yourself over. Kevin Kline is the sole exception, he shouldn't get a punch to the back of the head. A “what were you thinking, you were in A Fish Called Wanda for the love of God” moment, sure). I give the movie credit for actually making the male character try and instigate romance for a change but that's about it. Natalie Portman, like James Franco, makes multiple entries in this years list but I sure as Hell won't be regarding this as one of her best.

Here's the movie in a nutshell:
“Go out with me”
“No”

“Go out with me”
“No”
“Go out with me”
“No”
“Go out with me”

Sighs “Fine” 2.5/5

48. Sucker Punch (Zack Snyder)

I was surprised that I found movies that I liked less than this. For the longest time, I felt sure this was going to be on the very bottom of my 2011 list. That's not exactly high praise, however. I have reviewed this one in an earlier blog too, and as I said before, the aspects keeping this film from being a potentially good one are the below average acting, the plot holes and the anachronisms. Especially the anachronisms. The only work not based on anything else in Zack's filmography and it's the one that makes us bury our heads into our hands and wonder where it all went wrong. Ah well, no hard feelings eh Zack? I'm still going to rock up for Man Of Steel, come Hell or high water. 2.5/5

49. MacGruber (Jorma Taccone)

I know next to nothing about the character as seen on Saturday Night Live. After seeing this, I really don't think I want to. Who decided this was worth 90 minutes of our time? Look, I get that people create unlikeable characters on purpose and that's the joke. But here's what they forget: WE HAVE TO WATCH THEM THE ENTIRE TIME! Would you want to be stuck with him for 90 minutes if this was a real guy? I'd want to blow myself up after 10, if he wouldn't beat me to it with his ineptitude. And bare in mind, in real life, you don't have Kristen Wiig to keep you sane, or Val Kilmer to kill him. If you're rooting for the villain because he's cool or mysterious, that's a good villain. When you're rooting for the villain because you hate the hero, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. Doesn't help that most of the jokes are more miss than hit, the romance angle is telegraphed just by looking at the bloody DVD cover and I don't understand why, if MacGruber misses his wife but has fallen in love with Vicki St. Elmo, his wife tells him to be with her, yet they have sex. MacGruber and his dead wife have sex. The beauty of this is it works both ways: if he didn't imagine it, it's a minor plothole and makes no sense. If he did imagine it, it's a crappy joke.

MacGruber: protecting the world from humor everywhere. 2/5

And now, for the bottom of the barrel of what I've seen this year:

50. Hall Pass (Peter and Bobby Farrelly)

I wasn't expecting much. I expected the bare minimum from this. How do you manage not to even meet that? Oh wow, yet another “men like sex, women are bitches who exist to complain about the men they are married to and could leave at any time since no one has a gun to their head but they don't leave” comedy. That's breaking new ground! Almost every joke can be changed to read “blah blah blah, sex” over and over again. I'll spoil the movie for you: the wives don't leave their husbands. Never mind the fact that one is very unpleasant and the other is only just slightly above him in terms of passing for human (that one being played by Owen Wilson). Nicky Whelan does not add a damn thing and is quickly joining Sophie Monk and Isabel Lucas in the group of Australian “actresses” who need to stop being in movies and vanish from the movie/TV scene all together (and do NOT go back to music, Sophie Monk, you sucked at that too). Also, why bother cast Alyssa Milano if you're not going to do anything with her? I really, really wanted to give this a chance. But it fumbled every chance of elevating itself. So, you are indeed the worst film I have seen in 2011. 2/5

5. Captain America: The First Avenger (Joe Johnston)

DC may be riding high with its nigh-untouchable Nolan directed Batman series but Marvel's striking back with its solid stable of characters and here's the best of the year. The star spangled man has a plan: to kick ass and take names. And kick ass he does. Chris Evans, while being an alright Johnny Storm in the Fantastic Four films, proves his acting chops much better here and the support cast is as awesome, like the rest of the recent Marvel movies. Like a war movie with additional sprinklings of superheroes and villains, it excels at action very nearly beats Iron Man as the best movie from Marvel Studios. If I wasn't already pumped for The Avengers (and I was ever since Iron Man finished!), I am now. If this year was an excellent year for comic book movies, next year will be the year comic book movies ascend to a new level. It'll be like 2008 all over again, but with higher stakes. And I say bring it. Until then, I highly, highly recommend Captain America: The First Avenger. 4/5

4. Source Code (Duncan Jones)

This may sound negative, but this is clearly the Inception of 2011. It may sound negative because it looks like I'm saying it's a knock-off, but it's praise, because I love Inception (best film of 2010 in my opinion). It's like Inception because it's complex but simple to get a hold of, intelligent without losing its emotional center. Like Inception, it wants you to learn but doesn't force its lessons upon you. It wants you to learn naturally. It's a kind teacher who wants you to figure out the answers so that you may enrich yourself. It is a film that says “I merely offer a look into this world. Now it is up to you to follow the trail”. Films that leave you asking questions like a curious child are great. You feel changed by it. And that's what cinema is to me: an experience that gives me something new to consider. Definitely a must-see. Also, Moon, Duncan Jones' first film. Go see that too. 4.5/5

3. Rabbit Hole (John Cameron Mitchell)

YES. This is high quality drama. This is one of the most realistic drama films I have ever seen. The characters are three dimensional, the dialogue feels like what we would say in everyday life. I can't say the acting is excellent, that is an insult. Nicole Kidman has never been better and Aaron Eckhart has another knock-out role under his belt. No one is portrayed as being in the wrong, no one is made into a monster. Even the teenage catalyst for the tragedy that the plot is based around is completely sympathetic. On that note, the actor playing him, Miles Teller? I demand he get more work.

Sometimes, the best films are the ones you don't expect to be transcendental. What I expected to be a good film became something much bigger. And I am grateful to have seen this film. 4.5/5

2. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 (David Yates)

And so, the Harry Potter film franchise draws to a close. It's been a spellbinding ride and this film goes all out. Unlike a certain other book-turned-film franchise, the split into two parts was completely justifiable. Action-packed, emotional and faithful to its source material (not 100% but really, that's too much to expect) it captured the main events of the book flawlessly and added new dimensions to already beloved characters (Neville Longbottom's badassery was finally on display for the masses to revel in!) I love the books, I love the games and I love the films. As another door closes for Harry Potter, another opens with Pottermore. So long, Harry, and thanks for everything. 4.5/5

And now, my absolute favourite film of the year

1. Black Swan (Darren Aronofsky)

I've mentioned aspects that make great films when I've brought up Inception in this blog and previous posts, but another, smaller aspect, is that a great film punishes you for thinking it was going to go down a cliché route or do the familiar. Well, Black Swan, I only thought it once, but I apologize and I sing your praises now and forever. The casting, like Rabbit Hole, goes beyond excellent and is on another level altogether. The dedication to detail, acting and direction-wise, is what makes this a cut above most other films. Natalie Portman absolutely shines as Nina, Mila Kunis stuns with her role as Lily and I really hope this opens a lot more doors in the film world for her. The musical score knows when to be silent and when to jar you, the images meant to confuse you don't linger and they're often more effective jump scares than you see in horror movies! And the ending is a perfect capper to such a show-stopper.

Another thing that makes this really special is that this is the first film I saw this year, and it couldn't be dethroned by forty-nine entries (OK, some had no chance in Hell but still), even with the awe of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2, the emotional conflicts of Rabbit Hole, the thought inspiring nature of Source Code and the high-flying action of Captain America: The First Avenger. Delightful from start to finish. THE must see film, above all others. 4.5/5

Well, there you have it. There were some films that couldn't meet the bare minimum, some that got by on their meagre offerings, some with interesting ideas that couldn't take them to the end game, some that I hold in high regard and some that I treasure so very dearly. Hopefully, I've inspired you to see even just one of these films (just hopefully not the bottom five, unless you're riffing on any of them. In that case, go right for it). And with 2012 having a great slate of films, I think next year may prove even better.