Manners On My Mind And My Mind On Manners

(Please note: the following blog was originally posted on my old blog Why Yes I Am Quite Random, Why Do You Ask?, a blog I can no longer access for some unknown reason. This is being put at the start of each blog I'm uploading, in case anyone comes across the blog and accuses me of plagiarism. This is explained further in my introduction blog.

The following was originally posted on Monday, November 21st, 2011 at 4:44 pm )

Yep, it's rant time again. I'll try to make it quick *Gets soapbox out*

I'm about to say some words and terms and I want to know if you find these offensive: “Hello”, “Please” and “Thank you”

If you don't find them offensive, congratulations, you recognize that they are manners.

If these words are offensive or foreign to you... what the Hell is wrong with you?

Working in retail, you have to expect a lot of rudeness. Comes with the territory, and you can't expect everyone to be pleasant. But over time, I've noticed that the concept of manners appears to be dying out. Maybe it's because we're online more and the rules of etiquette have been changed, sign of the times and all that jazz. Maybe generations haven't been taught manners and, like several languages of times past, manners are getting committed to history and eventually won't be seen in the modern world. Or maybe people have been trained to legitimately fear or disregard manners and in their place, be an even bigger jerk. I don't know why but there's no excuse.

Let's break it down one thing at a time. Let's start with the world “hello”

When someone greets you, generally, you greet them in return. Or, in lieu of a hello or variant there of, say “How's it going?” or some other pleasantry, that's fine. It shows acknowledgment. But if you approach someone behind a counter and you don't bother with a greeting, you are rude. No one's asking you to get emotionally involved, just respond back with a friggin' hello. It's not a chore, is it?

Related to that, if you want the attention of an employee, you might want to greet them or, at the very least, say “Excuse me” or get their attention the right way. Shouting to them from across the room or walking near them and just asking is not only rude but it's not a guarantee they'll understand what you're saying, because you haven't gotten their attention. They're probably doing their own work, not expecting people to come up to them. That doesn't mean they don't notice you, just that if you haven't gone to them, you don't need them and thus, they will carry on. So, if you want to ask where something is, don't go “Where's the bathroom?”, instead “Excuse me, where's the bathroom?” Though adding a please is a nice bonus.

Let's talk about please. We use the word please when we want something (or thank you at the end of the sentence, both work with me) from someone else. Let us observe this sentence: “Give me a muffin.” With an attitude like that, I really don't see why I should. You've failed to acknowledge me, you only recognise there is another human-shaped being in front of you.

Likewise, when you've gotten your items and the transaction is finished, don't just walk off without saying anything, that's just being ungrateful. If you can't say thank you, why not “have a good day” or “take it easy” or something to show acknowledgment?

Rudeness isn't just limited to things not being said, timing also plays a part. For example, if someone behind the counter is in a transaction with someone or responding to someone's inquiry, unless you have an emergency or something of actual importance, do not interrupt them just for your own selfish reasons. Wait your turn like everyone else.

There's a lot more I could go into, but with the basics being neglected, let's just get those down first.

When we're with friends, you establish your own ways so it's not like you have to be cordial and overly-polite every hour of every day, but when in public, would it hurt to just remember these basics?

Like I said before, you don't have to be emotionally involved, you can be casual, but it's really annoying that people just neglect these things. Here's a tip for those of you who are not aware: the world was not created just for YOU. When you want something from a store, the store does not bring itself into existence to serve you and it doesn't vanish once you don't need it anymore. You are not a god among us mortals, you're just like the rest of us. And when you don't acknowledge others, they will feel no need to acknowledge you. So, be a little more considerate.

Anyway, rant's over. If you do remember your manners, thank you and I apologize if you feel I've been directing this at you.

So please, just a little effort. Just a little. It may not seem like much, but a “hello” or a “thank you” can mean something.