Urge To Hulk Out, Rising...

Today, however, is not so much of an “I'm fuming with rage” post so much as it is “these things annoy me. This needs to stop”.

Last Friday night, I was watching a TV program before leaving for work. It's a local show, called Adam Hills In Gordon Street Tonight. It's a light entertainment comedy/interview program, hosted by one of our greatest (if not greatest among any nation) comedians. In this episode, he was doing his opening monologue and talking about a survey the audience did about things they found annoying that should be considered a petty crime, before proceeding to read a list of said offenses out (one such offense was overuse of the word "like" in a sentence) and banging a gavel as if to declare them outlawed, all in the name of fun and comedy.

And while I enjoyed the bit for what it was, it got me thinking on some of the things that “grind my gears”, so to speak.

So, listed below are ten things (not a definitive top ten, just ten random things) that annoy or frustrate me. I've decided to keep it based on seemingly little things, and avoid certain people or groups (with one exception), since that'll just get me more angry and if need be, they can form a sequel to this post (so Charlie Sheen and Jersey Shore gets away THIS time).

So, let's get to these things that I would like to see vanish from my life. I'll try and keep my work pet-peeves out of it as much as possible (I could do a whole blog on that too, if I felt it could actually be interesting). The items are not in any real order.

1. TV shows and a lack of a “play all” option.

Look, I get that not everyone's going to sit down and marathon a show on their down time like I do, but who would get a TV show on DVD and go “Hmmm, eight twenty minute episodes on this disc, I think I'll just watch one and put it away”? What's the point of even doing that if you're just going to shut it off in twenty minutes?

But anyway, take the show Big Love. I have four out of five seasons (the last one is due at the end of this month down here) and they haven't learnt to give me the option to play all episodes so I'm not navigating through menus every hour or so.

Related to that, for shows with a play all option, why is it when I check the time remaining, they give me the remainder for the one episode I'm on, rather than the collective? Hell, Mad Men went backwards with this. It started with “time remaining on episode only”, then finally went with “if you chose to play all, we've added up the time for you” and back to the first one for the fourth season.

Bottom line, give me the option to play all (whoa, I think I channeled James Rolfe there for a minute)

2. Lack of manners in modern day society.

I've already done a whole blog about this, but it's still a huge pet peeve of mine. When someone says “Hello”, you should respond in kind. Also, “please” and “thank you” are good things, not curse words that will have people throwing stones at you. So, remember those. And remember to show some gratitude.

3. Songs cut short on the radio

If you're not going to play Lyin' Eyes by The Eagles or Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad by Meat Loaf from start to finish, don't play them at all. You're doing those songs a disservice by cutting out verses and lines (and this is an oldies station I'm referring to with those two!)
“But David”, you might say “Those songs are pretty long anyway. Surely an edit would help keep the listener's interest?”
Let's forgo the fact that it's not like these songs will push albums these days, awesome as they are, and I'll ignore the fact you even dare consider having them edited, but when I can hear Led Zeppelin's Stairway To Heaven or another Eagles song, Hotel California, in full glory, I have to wonder why some songs are edited while some are left intact.

But another point: on another radio station, I once heard Michael Jackson's Smooth Criminal playing, but THAT was trimmed down, too! For Christ's sakes, it's only a little over four minutes long! If people can't pay attention for that long, too bad for them!

So, play the songs in full or don't bother.

4. “ATM machines” and “PIN numbers”
    Fun fact for the day: ATM stands for Automated Teller Machine and PIN stands for Personal Identification Number. So, when I hear “ATM machine”, I feel like saying “Oh, you're looking for a machine that makes ATM's? Can't say I've seen any of those around here”. This might be closely related to grammar Nazi tendencies but it still annoys me. But I want to know who started it and how they couldn't figure out what the M and N stand for.
   
   
5. People asking bluntly for directions.
   I should clarify this one a little. If a person comes to me and says “Excuse me, but could you please tell me how to get to (insert name of place here)?” Despite the fact that I barely know my way around anywhere, since if I'm not at work or home, I'm visiting family or at the cinema or library, I do appreciate the fact that they have considered I may not be able to help them and it comes across as “I thought I'd give it a try, because you may be able to help me” and I don't mind that.
   What I do mind, though, is the question phrased thusly: “How do I get to (insert name of place here)?”
   First, how about a “please” or an “excuse me”? Second, I don't recall telling you I know every road and path to your destination. Just because you want me to have the answer doesn't mean I have the answer. So, how about asking how good I am with directions first, instead of just going “You must know where this place is, because I command you to.” Not how the world works.

6. The “bitches love” meme.

I acknowledge it may be “like” and not “love”, but quite frankly, I couldn't give a toss. But whoever started this, let me ask you... you do know that women aren't things, right? That they're people, like what I assume you are? Well, I may not be “down” with the kids today, but last I checked, calling women “bitches” in a casual way was basically another way of saying “Women are objects, and it's fun to hit them!” You may have female friends that you call “bitch” playfully, but that's between you and that one woman. So, show some respect for women or leave this planet. Now.

For the record, I will say I like the parodies because they aren't offensive to women. Like the one with the car in the ditch. Heck, my friend Mary created one based on a suggestion I made, swapping out “bitches” for “witches” to make “I'll get her a black cat. Witches love black cats”. See? I created something funny AND it doesn't offend women! And it's true, black cats are familiars for witches, same as ravens and such. Also, her poster is neat!

7. LMFAO.

And here's that exception I mentioned above. To call this music is an insult to the word music, and if it could manifest itself to corporal form and punch me, I would not stop it. I'm not that big on dance anyway but this barely qualifies. It's like it's trying to parody music, like it wants to suck on purpose. Well, sometimes you can go too far and instead of being so bad it's good, it becomes so bad it's kill-it-with-fire level bad. So, take your noise and bugger off. Also, if you're going to name yourselves after internet slang, you deserve kicks to the face every hour, on the hour. So, look into that. The face-kicky thing.

8. Online multiplayer only.

Remember the days where if you wanted to play a video game with the person next to you, they just had to pick up a control and it was that simple? What happened to those days? With gaming technology getting more advanced these days, I have to wonder when did we sacrifice the ability to be able to play a game with the person sitting to our right and left in exchange for only being able to play random people online. Much like the play all option on DVD's, is there a reason these options can't co-exist? What if I don't have online play? The Halo games on my Xbox 360 have both, why can't every other game that offers online multiplayer only?

9. Movie poster covers on books

I get that when a book gets adapted into a movie, the book gets inevitably re-released with a cover using a poster from the movie. Let's forgo the fact that most people are allergic to books, since only “nerds and geeks read books anymore” so your plan to increase book sales won't fly, most people who want to read the books will choose the original anyway. Why? Because we don't trust the re-release. We don't know if it's been edited to line up with the movie more, or if it's a novelization. Yes, a book based on a movie based on a book. They have happened. I'll stick with the original cover anytime I can.

10. Some of the decisions made by DC for the New 52.

Yeah, I am going to do a whole blog on this at some point, probably mid-June when I've gotten all the issues I need to complete what would be the first trades for the seven titles I'm collecting, but here's a couple points to go on:
- Action Comics sometimes reads like a cliché X-Men story

-It's hard to keep track of where in time a story is, considering when Justice League starts, when Action Comics starts, and how long Batman's been operating for

-Where certain characters are and why they don't have their own books (Captain Marvel and Plastic Man don't get books but Deathstroke does? The Hell's that about?)

So yeah, short list on stuff that pisses me off. It may be “first world problems” (I HATE that meme too, I'll be getting to that in the final blog of the week) but I wasn't going to tackle the big stuff, like politics or people, because it would piss me off too much and I'm trying to vent, not make myself even angrier.

So, what little things piss you off and why?