Why Can't You Be Friends?

Well, Valentine's Day has rolled around again. You may recall last year that I posted a blog saying that love should be all year round, and not limited to one day.

Well, this year, I'm afraid I'm going to talk about something a little more negative. I admit, this is something I could talk about almost any time of the year, but given what I'm going into, something tells me Valentine's is when this crap will occur the most.

Recently, I learned of a Tumblr with posts from a site called OK Cupid,. A Tumblr devoted to self-professed “nice guys” bitching about being stuck in “the friendzone” with women they're attracted to, and feeling like they're entitled to something (a relationship or even just sex on its own) simply because they're “nice guys”. I'd share the link, but I believe it's had the plug pulled, though this article has an example of one said pic: http://www.thefrisky.com/2012-12-21/nice-guys-of-ok-cupid-the-scariest-tumblr-of-dudes-you-never-want-to-date/

People much smarter than myself have already weighed in on the issue, but I still would like to share my thoughts on it, and why these guys need to have a foot planted firmly up their arse, to greatly paraphrase Red Foreman. As such, I'll be breaking these down in dot point form, ranging from smaller nitpicks to outright criticism.

* First off, while I have no idea who coined the term, don't drag the word “zone” into it! Zone is a cool word, that shouldn't be related to something negative! The Twilight Zone, the Phantom Zone, the Zones in the Sonic games, the Kenny Loggins song Danger Zone, all examples of coolness using the word zone! I think it's the Z, the Z makes it sound cool. Kinda like X. Point is, use another word! Not realm, realm's also a cool word.

* Second, women aren't entitled to give you anything at all. This isn't the days of old (and it was wrong back then too) so playing the “White Knight” and expecting a reward isn't what happens these days. But with society being over-entitled these days, maybe that's the root of the problem.

* Next, when did being friends with women become a bad thing? Friends are awesome! I like making new friends. I'd say “Make friends!” is my motto, but I have one above that one, and that's really the motto of the incredibly awesome Sarah Wilson, aka Pushing Up Roses (check out her gaming videos here: http://pushinguproses.com/ . And a lot of my friends are female, too. I've always gotten along better with women as opposed to men, and I think it's because a lot of men I see in public seem to communicate with grunts and as little dialogue as possible. Unless it relates to sport, drinking and/or women. Maybe that's just because I live in Australia, or maybe the type of people I want to interact with are elsewhere at the time.

* But the biggest point I have to make: if you're a “nice guy”, but you bitch about a friend just because she won't date you, you revoke any rights to call yourself a nice guy.

You know all those arseholes you complain about, the ones she may date over you? Well, moaning about that makes YOU an arsehole too. Except she won't date you once she finds out what you said. So really, you're digging your own grave there.

Also, are these guys really arseholes, or are you just painting them that way because “they're in your way of being in a relationship”? I mean, do you spend time with them, or have you already dismissed them simply because they chose to date your friend? Granted, it IS possible that their character is poor, but intervening when he does something questionable is what a friend is supposed to do, not someone swooping in to take his place as spouse.

Look, I've been here before. I mean, most of us have, right? Pining for someone who is in a relationship, wanting something more, while still being friends. The difference is, most of us don't go out of our way to make our friend's partner look bad, or spread nasty rumors about our friend behind their back out of bitterness. We accept things for what they are, and move on.

There are worse things in life for nice people than not being with the right person. Like being treated like a doormat, for example. I know a whole lot about that...

And that's all I have to say on the matter. So, to these “nice guys” out there: prove it. Be good and nice for the sake of being good and nice.

(On an unrelated note, I know I missed a lot of holidays last year, especially noticeable with a Mother's Day post but not a Father's Day. Can't say it'll be different this year, but I'll work something out)